Remember that time I started a blog? I was all, “OH, I’m going to write EVERY day and share our story with the world and be both sensitive and hilarious and make ALL the people follow me with abandon and know ALL about pediatric anxiety! It’s going to be awesome!” I mean, sure…there aren’t three of me and I have one child going back and forth between a hospital 45 minutes from our house, family therapy that I have to attend and OH, YEAH…a two year old. No problem. OF COURSE this would be a good time to start the blog! That’s sooooo doable, Mom! Oh, and you should absolutely pick up that book about writing code so that you can format the blog yourself! And return all the amazing emails that you’ve received from the blog. And clean the house. And feed the children. And AND AND AND….
I’m actually the very opposite of Pea – although he looks just like me. My first instinct is always a resounding, “Sure! No problem! It will turn out great! No worries!”. God definitely knew what he was doing because my personality is perfect when it comes to mothering Pea. I’m a “don’t sweat it” mom. I’m pretty hard to ruffle. I’m not even remotely rigid. Pea’s absolute favorite thing to do for the last…let me think…8 YEARS is to create worlds to play in. He has never EVER played with a toy the way it was marketed. He creates vast lands across our house using everything from cans in the pantry to all the dining chairs. We move furniture. He makes signs and badges and tapes them all over the house. You want to use all the spices in my spice rack to make a choir? SURE! You want to take everything out of your closet to make it an office? Let’s do it! Can you have every piece of tupperware to use as aquariums in your marine biology lab? No problem! I’m calling it “fostering creativity”. 😉 Pea wouldn’t do well if I wasn’t okay with giant messes in the name of imagination. And my lack of anxiety is certainly handy when it comes to helping him relax. I consider us the perfect team.
The downside to being laid back? I always say yes. I always think I can do it all. I’m always up at all hours finishing ALL THE THINGS. I walk around the house and clean it up every night so that Pea has a clean slate for his next idea. I handle all the various appointments for Pea. I’m always the room mom. I’m going to be on the PTA board this year. I’ll take on all the projects. And throw all the parties. And cook all the food. And apparently start a blog or two. Did I mention I have a two year old? HA! It works for me, though. It’s just my personality. And I always manage to get it done. Mostly…ish.
Sooooo – that was my long winded way of saying that I swear I’m going to keep writing this blog. And making it beautiful. And bringing awareness to mental health problems in children. It just may be 2am when the latest posts arrive. 🙂
This has been an emotional and overwhelming week, to say the least. Pea is doing AMAZINGLY WELL at the hospital program. He’s doing so well that I’ve now switched my anxiety from how he will cope with going to how on God’s green earth we will get through the transition to him NOT going. He really loves it. I’ve never seen him so happy to go somewhere. Tonight as he was falling asleep, he said, “I wish I could go to anxiety camp tomorrow. I hate waiting until Monday.” What the WHAT?!? I want to make them 1,000 cookies and knit them sweaters and kiss every last person over there. This is clearly the right place for Pea. We have our first family therapy session with him on Monday. I’m very much looking forward to getting some insight into Pea and how we can help him more at home. I’ll be sure and share any tips that I can. He has shown them what he’s struggling with in many ways so far this week and they are coaxing him through everything. The process is intensive and I am still utterly and completely optimistic that this will be the beginning of a smoother year for my Pea. That’s how I roll. “IT WILL BE FINE”, she said. And they keep on keeping on.